About Refugee From Reason

Well, this blog has been up for more than five years or so. I've used to to publish new poems, comment on current events and society, rant at various issues, political and otherwise and for a time discuss my life with a drunk: My ex-wife.

I've a lot of questions about that via email; about my personal life and about what I do for a living and who I am.

It's time, I suppose, that I get all of that out of the way, as frankly, I'm tired of answering the questions, the most asked of which is "Why did you get married to that woman [the drunk]?"

Hell, I'm not at all sure, though she seemed quite intelligent, talented and witty at the time I met her and had been a clothing designer. Despite the fact that she could outdrink me (I don't drink much as it is) didn't mean anything to me at the time: I had been a reporter and knew a lot of my colleagues who drank [especially on the road covering campaigns], but the word "alcoholic" never came into my mind.

It wasn't until after we were married that I "got it." She was not a pretty or fun drunk, but rather a mean one, who frequently tried to attack me. Three times I called the police and three times they called the EMTs who took her away, once putting her in a mental institution and twice in the hospital.

We're divorced now and I rarely hear from her. There was quite a bit on this blog about my drunk [ex-] wife, but I've taken down. It's fallen into the "Who Cares" basket.

First ex-wife: As I've frequently told people who asked about that divorce, "She gave up the kids, they were 6 and 3 at the time, voluntarily. She got alimony, I got sole custody." That should tell you all you need to know. Suffice it to say that it was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me; being a single parent of my kids (now grown and on their own). They're my closest friends, along with my dog.

My second ex-wife was quite nice actually…until she became "spiritual." She was very intelligent, and a mathematician who became a systems analyst at a major government agency. "Spiritual's" fine with me, until you start spending a $1,000-$2,000 a month on "channels" and "healers," with your life revolving around burning sage, speaking in what sounded like tongues and paying those "healers" for "healing" over the telephone, not only for herself, but her cat. It ended rather amicably.

These days I live in an apartment. I've never wanted to live anywhere else but an apartment, though I've owned several houses in West Los Angeles, Las Vegas and in Washington, DC. I never wanted to, as no matter where I live, I am a dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker. It was always wives who wanted a house.

Houses: I fine them a pain in the neck. They're costly and rarely does one ever "burn the mortgage," as Spencer Tracey and Katherine Hepburn did in "Adam's Rib." Beyond that, either you have to call someone to fix things, then pay for it; or do it yourself.
I like neither. I prefer to "call the super." Besides, when you live in a house, you accumulate "stuff," and I highly recommend going to YouTube or elsewhere to see/hear George Carlin's riff on "Stuff." I live quite nicely. The apartment's a good size, less than ten years old and very comfortable, with all the appropriate amenities.

My life is a good one. I don't "date" much, as it's clear that in this area my selection process, so to speak, isn't especially good. I've no problem pointing out that I enjoy television, almost anything but reality shows and probably most non-fiction.

So, what's my life like today. It's relatively solitary, save having to deal with clients - I fix things for companies in trouble; I resolve crises. I do regularly visit my kids who are on both coasts.

I think that's about enough for now and should answer most of the questions I've been asked. You can always ask more via email, refugeefromreason @ refugeefromreason.com (you'll have cut and paste that one: too much spam out there).