Friday, January 25, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
It has been a while since my last visit to this venue. I’m sure if a lot has transpired in that time, or a little. Life seems somewhat cloudlike these days, though my thinking is quite clear. I seem to be moving with little creativity, or a lot, with little movement, or quite a bit. My tasks during the day are completed appropriately and without complication, but there is something clearly different about the way I am viewing my life. It is increasingly introspective, as if I am seeking the existential essence of my being, not just from time to time, but a consistent undercurrent of search, exploration. My reading habits have reverted to academia, the classics, Adler, Jung, Freud, as well as a compulsion to read The New Yorker cover to cover when it arrives. It seems, perhaps, that as I grow older, I am endeavoring to recharge my brain with all of that which I’ve learned during my time here. An interesting process, this.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
I, frankly, don't give a damn about gun owners. The Second Amendment be damned. The nut in Aurora was able to buy four guns and more than 6,000 rounds of ammunition legally. Don't give me arguments that one can buy knives, slingshot or just carry around a brick. Those are tough to reload.
We've lived too long with this dreadfulness and that's an understatement. Sure, we could debate "rights," but those debates have gone on pretty close to my entire life, with nothing resolved, nothing.
In my life, as I've said before, I've been injured by guns, but in war zones. I grew up, and granted, the times were different, without weapons in the house or apartments. But times were not so different for my kids, yet no issues with guns.
Enough from that tangent of my anger. Consider this one: Little, if anything, will be accomplished by Mr. Biden's committee. Sure, it'll develop some "reasonable," if there is such thing, basic premises for legislation. However, if our Congress, now known by academics and political historians as the least accomplished in history, if not the worst, does anything it'll be as weak as the tea I've been drinking for the past week or so.
But while polling shows most of the nation, a majority, wants new regulations, it won't happen and that's in good measure because of us: We keep electing the well-paid buffoons. Perhaps in 2014 you'll think about who you check off at the polls.
On to one of newer favorite topics: Dating sites. As I've written before, I was a subscriber to a couple of them. I let one expire last month and the other just went yesterday. In fairness, I remain a subscriber to one that's free.
That said, I continue to believe that I am not all suitable for anyone in my demographic, unless they're throwbacks to the old "Beat Generation."
Thursday, January 3, 2013
It is hard to believe that I've made it this far. Forgetting about illness, and fortunately, I've not had any serious illnesses, the live I've led, well, "followed," I suppose is a better term, has neither "normal," as most I know have noted, nor career oriented.
I've been rich and I've been poor, to paraphrase Sophie Tucker or Mae West (a disputed quote). Rich is not necessarily "better" as the remainder of the quote goes and "poor," though I've not been destitute, or without a home or food, has its advantages; perhaps more so than "rich," as one learns to adapt, among other things.
As I've written before, I've raised two boys from the ages of 6 and 3; they're now fine men, one with a family. And that's my greatest accomplishment.
Of course, I've had a few wives, only one of whom is rancorous at this point, though I've, fortunately not heard from her in several weeks. Now I am content to live out my life alone, well, with all of my family spread about the nation.
I've travelled much of the world, much on the cuff of a newspaper, the remainder on my dime and then mostly France.
I've been shot twice, once in Southeast Asia in the late 60s, once in Israel in the early 60s; been knifed twice, once by an angry woman with whom I was travelling in Northern Italy; once by some fellow in Tangier who wanted my passport (I should have given it up).
My poetry has been widely published; and my novel, now a decade old remains unfinished (nearly 800 pages), and obviously unedited.
My closest friends from my late teens, three of them, remain my closest friends, along with Rex.
I've "squandered" many opportunities, but regret none, as something new has always come along.
I've no regrets for women in my life, notwithstanding the generally bad endings of nearly all my relationships, Again, I've learned from all. And more importantly, I've learned my weaknesses, many of which have not been strengthened. But at least I know them when I see them.
I've seen and heard many greats in the theatre, dating back to the late 40s. In the 60s I recall seeing Joan Baez at Club 47, Paul Stookey at the Gaslight, Maria Callas at the Met and Leonard Bernstein's "Young Peoples Concerts" in New York.
It has been my great fortune to visit some of the world's greatest museums with some degree of frequency, yet the most memorable, and a great museum, is the Phillips where I stared for hours, perhaps cumulatively days, at the work of Mark Rothko, and Renoir's "Luncheon of the Boating Party," for some reason, my favorite painting.
I've written stories that have sent people to jail; and ones that have helped others.
I've "dodged" creditors until I "got well," and provided money and substance to those less fortunate than I.
The coin is always two-sided and who know who tallies it up at the proverbial "end of the day." I've played the blues (guitar) for decades and the tune that sticks in my mind these days is "One Kind Favor." It's been done by many, but it was Blind Lemon Jefferson who wrote it:
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
It was, indeed, an eventful year, 2012. I'd planned to write a couple of days ago, however, I've just, and I break my own rule here regarding the discussion of health, recovered, and, indeed, is the word, from a rather dreadful case of the flu, or whatever one wants to call it. Living on Pepto and Coca Cola.
The ailment didn't interfere with New Year's Eve, though. Of course, there was virtually nothing with which to interfere. There's not to be the verve in the event any longer for me, but I enjoyed watching the ball drop in Times Square, as I do annually. However, it is rather disappointing to see the rather dreadful hijinks that accompany it television: Perfectly dreadful banter and dialog.
Now I must look forward to adding another year later this week and my usual, and perhaps obsessive pondering about that.
As I suppose we all do, I wonder what this year will bring. Last was not an especially good one, nor particularly bad. Mostly I wonder, presently, how I got this far, lived this long.
I look about me and virtually everyone seems to have "grown up," while I don't beliee I have, or at least fully done so.
In any event, I wish you all the best this year, and, of course, beyond. I do hope that I will be a bit more religious about communicating on this venue this year, than I was last.