The other day I approached a woman on a dating site, who characterized herself as "more a city girl than a country girl," who enjoys many of the things I enjoy. But, of course, she also enjoys dressing up, five-star dining, and so forth.
In her profile she wrote, "Looking for a friendship first and possibly a long term relationship later. A tall, health-conscious gentleman who takes care of himself and enjoys going out and having fun. Someone who is romantic, easy-going, considerate, and loyal. Financially and emotionally secure. A gregarious, polished, educated and well-traveled man who is a non-smoker, social drinker. A man who respects and admires an intelligent and independent woman," among other things.
She also said, " If you can't bother to write an original message to me, I will delete you without response; I get tons of these canned responses and I will only spend time on someone who cares enough to actually SAY SOMETHING ORIGINAL!!!!!;"
It was clearly a profile at least tinged with anger and reflecting bad experiences on the dating site. Well, I wrote something original, perhaps a couple of hundred words, responding directly to who she appeared to be, what she was seeking and so forth.
Well, I ws summarily rejected: "I'm definitely more the high-heeled city type rather than the laid back casual type (once in awhile is ok, on a lazy Sunday maybe, but I love going out, eating out, etc...). I love my creature comforts, including the spa, champagne, etc. So, I wish you the best of luck in your search."When I wrote her the note, I saw the anger in her profile. However, notwithstanding that I'm neither tall, nor "health-conscious," I am a smart, witty, empathatic and engaging fellow and I thought that might mitigate her criteria somewhat. It obviously didn't, though it did continue to confirm that I should go with my old reporter's instinct, rather than what is in those profiles.
The rejection doesn't bother me. What does is that I am, indeed (and I say this without arrogance), "A gregarious, polished, educated and well-traveled man who is a non-smoker, social drinker. A man who respects and admires an intelligent and independent woman."
I was born and raised in a city, the biggest in the nation and perhaps the most sophisticated; travelled the world; flown on Air Force One with two Presidents; covered some of the most important events of the 20th and 21st centuries; published poetry and, yet, it is the proverbial book cover in which women in their late 50s and into their 60s seem interested; the accoutrements and someone to provide them.
The phase of live into which I've seemed to move is one of introspection, deep self-examination; recollection; where I've been; what I've done; accomplished and I want a partner who wants to know herself that well through revelation, if you will, to her partner. One who's willing to bare all, as never before and to try to learn the depths of our lives while we still have them. Of course, sex would be nice as well, but it's not the most important aspect to me.
Well, I have Rex and a good life…