Thursday, July 26, 2012

My All Time Favorite Blues Tune

I damned near wore out this LP, but fortunately it was re-released on CD a year or so ago.

Loneliness?

My home, a three bedroom apartment, is spacious for my minimalist tastes; it is furnished sparely, though I think well, with appropriate furniture and artwork.

The "third" bedroom, could easily be designate a "guest" room. As you can see from the below photo, it would be defining of the word "spare" were it not for the two chairs and poster.

I have purposely not placed a bed in it, so it clearly cannot be called a "guest" room. "What about your kids?" I've been asked. My family has always been of the notion that we don't stay with relatives unless someone has died. Obviously there have been exceptions, though that's pretty much the way it was and is now.

My kids, of course, are always welcome. However, whenever they come they prefer a hotel. I love that idea. After all, I'm not going to serve them breakfast in their room(s).

I use that room sometime to simply sit in what you might consider an uncomfortable chair, I don't, and simple, "ponder." It is a room with no noise, really no distractions.

What prompted me to sit there for about 20 minutes today was a question last night by my oldest son: "Dad, aren't you getting a bit lonely?" My response was, "I absolutely don't think so. If I am, it's quite sublimated by the removal of my former wife and the fears of violence attendant to her cohabitation, as well as defining void of love and even friendship that existed.

There should be a disclaimer here that this is not written in bitterness, of which I feel virtually none; but more as a consideration of a question that is quite old on a psychological and philosophical topic that as always interested me.

However, in the reflection, a quote from Clark Moustakas, the great psychologist, came to mind (no doubt as a result of having a Mother who was a psychiatrist). Dr. Moustakas wrote that, "A basic feature of human life is the desire to understand ourselves and to construct meaningful accounts of our experiences. Self-evaluation-the process of learning about and judging ourselves-is an important element of loneliness."

One of my views of life is that, on some level or another, we are all in a process of "self-evaluation," and probably all of the time. It then occurred to me that given this important man's view, have I "blocked" something central to that self-evaluation, to that exploration?

I thought not, at least for those moments to feel "lonely," I would have to, perhaps, force the emotion upon myself, an action that would prompt even more questions, not the least of which is that of "reality."

My immediate conclusion was quite simple: If it doesn't exist, I probably don't need it. While many toss about the term "existentialism," my experience that is, much more frequently than not, utterly misused.

My leaning, my severe leaning are toward that philosophy, center to which is that Sartrean statement that  "existence precedes essence."

It agrees with me and I with it.