Here’s my latest from an online dating site. I communicated with a woman online, both on the site and via private email. We decided that a phone conversation might be more productive and we engaged in one that was quiet extensive. Regular readers of this venue know that I am not fond of long telephone calls, but this seemed to go quite nicely.
I told the woman I’d give her a call over the weekend. Now, first, when it was upon, I didn’t feel much like talking to anyone, much less someone I’d never met in person and didn’t know well; and second, I just got busy and lazy.
Monday arrived and I tried to call her, and there was a message that the number was not receiving calls at that time. I never thought that I misdialed and just let it go. I sent her note that I tried to call her that day. The following is what I received:
"bviously, you must have misdialled, as I have NEVER had "not accepting calls" on my phone. I'm truly puzzled: if u couldn't rech me by phone, why not email THEN? not MONDAY!
"My number is 555-555-5555. I'm from Missouri in this case: show me! Today is MONDAY--not by any stretch of the imagination "the end of the week". Yet here's your FIRST communication, since making that statement.
"Fortunately, on SATURDAY my friends took me to the Pacquaio fight--fabulous--although I was surprised at the decision.
"And we had a lovely dinner on SUNDAY--a lovely gentleman who seemed to have a better idea of how to read a calendar.
"So--if you care to--perhaps you might want to try a second time--this time you might show me you can keep your word...?"
Really, woman: You don’t know me and believe you have a right to scold me. And do you really think I cared whether or not you had a great weekend? What kind of ego drives that kind of response? What kind of mentality?
The psychology behind it is remarkably complex I suppose, but the crudeness of it took me by surprise. And who uses the phrase “lovely gentleman” these days. Do I want to “try a second time”? “….show me you can keep your word…” Please, challenging someone you don’t know is manifest major neurotic signal and who needs that?