Thursday, July 28, 2011

Astounding!

The blockheads we have in congress (lower case "c" intended).

It Must Be Awful

to wake up every morning in, a least a bad mood, if not angry. I more than suppose I get angry from time to time. I'm probably angry with my wife right now. However, for me, to get through the day, even the minutes of the day, that's just got to go away. I'm not sure what I do to make it disappear, or if it really does, at least my anger toward my wife. Theoretically, anger can be a positive; it can be helpful, if it's used to resolve a problem or issue.

It my case, it never is. It sounds almost unbelievable, but I rarely do anything that would offend a "normal" person; though a "normal" person is probably someone you don't know.

I was raised to say "please" and "thank you." But what do I do with my anger? I know that on the most superficial level, I seem to either suppress it after probably no longer than an hour, or it dissipates.

But what the hell does that really mean? Well, probably that it's still there, but I've got better things to do. And, I seem to always have "better things to do" than to be angry. I write a lot about being "angry" with Washington, with Congress (which I now believe, given it's almost incredible stupidity and ineffectuality, should be spelled with a lower-case "c"). That's not really "anger;" it's frustration.

At minimum, I'll use "Stumble Upon" and surf the web, or read, or take my dog for a walk or what a movie…on the top end, I go to the gym for a couple of hours. It doesn't matter.

To me, if one is truly angry and doesn't like that state, one can just get over it. Hell, unless you like feeling that way, and why would you, as they say, Get Over It.

Spite, Vindictiveness, Entitlement: My Wife

I'm not certain that while defining the characterization "entitled," my wife is just plain stupid, moderating Einstein's definition of "insanity" a bit, "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Daily, as I've said, when I pick her up from work she complains about the same issues with work. When I say "the same," I mean exactly that. As I've said before, while I've become almost absolutely inured to these complaints, they're still modestly disturbing to my psyche, at least for the time in the car.

Today, however, she railed about her shirt, which was "$200" years ago and I dried with the "wrong" clothes. Well, there was no harm done. Hell, I do all laundry and housework and actually enjoy it.

It's hard to believe that on her day off and I'm getting almost the same thing – but now about laundry of all things, complete with slamming doors and stomping around. Hell, even my dog's upset and hiding under my desk (truly my best friend, by the way).

And, of course, the phrase repeated so often, "I never thought my life would turn out this way…" Who the hell hasn't thought that, either on the positive or negative sides. I never thought I'd be married to an alcoholic, albeit now in so-called "recovery," but who the hell knows with these outbreaks. And, she's on a psychotropic, hell, two of them. She goes to a therapist sporadically after having gone for years. Jeez, we've even gone together, at least a while back. It does no good if (a) the patient doesn't take the counsel; and (b) if you just lie to the therapist.

Okay, despite working, I think her life's pretty bloody good. Now, I'm not bragging, but we live in a house that's almost 3,000 square feet with four bedrooms (one of which is her "closet" and filled with clothing racks, which are filled to overflow), three and a half baths, living room, dining room, family room, etc. and a lovely yard with a swimming pool. She has a great car which I never wanted to buy but it's owned outright.

It's true, like most others, we've cut back. We eat out three times a month rather than four. She complains about eating only chicken or fish. Well, she doesn't like beef of any sort and I don't eat pork (not a religious issue, just don't like it), but I've said, I'll make a tenderloin or pork chops or whatever for you and I'll eat something else. She always says no and eats salad with chicken in it most of the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I could get a divorce (if you hit that link, you'll get a different blog venue, but it'll open in a "new" window, unless, of course, you're on the www.refugeefromreason.com site – yes, this blog is duplicated on a couple of venues, though it started on Blogger), but, again, I figure I can live out my life this way. After all, at most I only have to deal with her for a very few hours a day.

Divorce is such a pain in the neck. Frankly, though, the only bothersome component for me is moving. I abhor it now, though it didn't really bother me in the past, when I was a lot younger.

No, I don't know what I did to have my life turn out like this. However, I kinda think, despite this woman with whom I live, it really isn't all that bad; a bit tough these days, but not that bad at all.

You see, I always keep the fact that I raised a couple of great kids on my own, sole custodian, and they couldn't have turned out better. I'm not sure how I did it, but I know that I did. My family was wonderful, loving, intelligent and despite the bit of a pain she is from time to time, I still have a sister.

My wife has virtually no family. She does have a sister, but she's estranged from her. For years, since we've been together, I've invited her into mine, but she, because of her own egocentric and entitled behavior, has never "joined" as a "family member," just as, perhaps a visitor. (Now, she's cleaning a bathroom next to my office, as if to say, "You're not the only one who takes care of the house." Damn, what a stupid woman. As if cleaning a bathroom is going to bother me…in my mind, it just makes her seem spiteful and vindictive.

Those are my gripes for now.